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Why am I Learning English

“Why did you come to Canada?” “What made you study English?” “Where do you like living in more – Canada or Korea?”

Why did I come to Canada? Why am I learning English? Where do I like living more?

I wish I had a grand answer to explain myself when faced with those questions, but all I really want to say is –

There was no why.

There was no choice for me.

I learned and spoke English like a person who had just discovered fire. Clueless, curious, and in awe.

I didn’t even know there was a country called Canada and only knew A, B, and C.

The fire which I had just discovered was vital in keeping me alive but also enough to burn me.

I spoke English like I was hunting – always on a survival mode

Trying to defend myself from the arrows of discrimination and constant feeling of being lost.

Seeking fruit or gold somewhere – I know it’s somewhere.

I needed to get better at English to find the purpose of living in an unknown land.

I needed to get better in order to coax myself to sleep, thinking that learning English will make me feel belonged – one of them.

I don’t know if I ever really found anything.

I am still trying to find the answer to the whys.

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